Pressing pause on the despair button

Just a short post today. I am on a train and long commute into the city to another interview as I quit my last job a few weeks ago through exhaustion and stress because the excessive unpaid hours and unrealistic expectations were too much to bear considering other trials in my life at present. Sometimes something has to give and I chose my health and sanity first.

Our state is in a bad situation where unemployment is concerned many are out of work so for me to get interviews is a blessing and a miracle for which I am grateful. And this is far removed from the type of work I just resigned from. Its something I did for a number of years before I got married and had my sons, my first career; in Travel and I loved it and I have been considering starting my own mobile travel business so I figure this can reacquaint me with my old friend. Its much less pay but money isn’t everything. Life is much too short to do what you do not enjoy. And in time I will go independent.

Last week for the first time in a very long time I found myself deep in despair   again. And one night in a drunken stupor I even contemplated permanent peace…but only for a moment. I was sobbing in the cab home and the young taxi driver, a migrant from Africa kept saying “please Miss don’t cry I feel your pain you will be ok you will see” and after a time after the pain was cried out…he was right. I have had words and simple acts of kindness all around but in the depths of my despair I could not see it.

I realized that the saying “this too shall pass is oh so very true” no matter what..

So for now the pause button is pressed on my despair and I can appreciate the small blessings all around..

Love and whitelightxxx


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