So, I would normally fall into bed at this point of the night. I have imbibed alot (still am against my principles but my off switch tonight seems faulty but at least I am aware of it and as advised by my ‘good one’!! Long story…), alot more than intended and that should occur on a Tuesday night. BUT, I am unemployed..still, and slightly troubled and my brain is in free-fall over a number of things. As my regular readers would know.
It has been a craggy day on many levels. Being questioned by some 20 something year old recruiters who knew the secret to all the world problems and how to cure cancer (do I have an attitude? No, not moi!!). hang fire, love this, love Edith Piaf;
..on my way back on the train I met an old school friend who I had an affair with long ago even though I knew he was married and it was highly AGAINST my principles and therefore very awkward because I think he still wants more…and I WOULD NOT now again, ever ( perhaps Joe was my Karmic retribution on a massive scale?), and then when I visited my so-called new friend, who wanted to become a Facebook friend immediately, against my instincts…WTF? And then ,tonight as I visited him as he had asked me to previously issued a ‘ahh, I have a ‘friend with me right now” Oh hello, so what? I don’t want to shag you daggy fucker even though we did once with your tiny penis, we were supposedly friends? As you requested. Head fuck or you tried to and HELLO it doesn’t work! HA!
Why do we have to immediately ‘friend’ people on Facebook? For numbers and self satisfaction? Is it an EGO walk, hell I have 500 FB friends ain’t I the bomb…ahh sorry..DA BOMB!! Shouldn’t we take time to get to know each other, somewhat?
Is a fleeting experience enough? After Joe and I, I am so anti and on guard.
A surprising upside.(.see I told you! I see upsides!)..was that as I was crying my arse off waiting the hour for the next bus from one place (in Perth our bus system is highly useless as well as other essential services so even though the city is pretty DO NOT MOVE HERE IT IS HELL) and then another hour for the next (I was prepared however with a 4 pack of rum and coconut milk), and in that time my ‘good one’ that I had denounced (the other one, Italian, cute but averse to conflict yada), had redeemed himself by talking to me almost the entire time in caring, somewhat ‘loving’ ….dare I say it..tone…quelle surprise..and it was lovely, even though I realise the yank has made me very cynical and suspicious about most men…well it just shocked the hell out of me but I am grateful..and he actually said tonight that he knew what we had and he was grateful that we met….say what?
Anyway, speaking of what, yesterday one of my most favorite artists passed DAVID BOWIE, Ziggy Stardust, Alladin sane etc.. I guess I am still slightly freaked out by that.
I listened to his music; particularly the album ‘Diamond Dogs’
well, tape actually repeatedly as I tried to switch off from the bullshit background of my alcoholic abusive father and idiotic shrill narcissistic mother fought endlessly, relentlessly.
He was a go to…his music is timeless and will always be a part of me…RIP Mr Bowie..with love and light, always xxx
I guess I should go to bed…its late now and I am completely shamozzled…
Love and whitelight xx