OK, I think am officially in the twilight zone. I keep wondering if the moon has stayed on full for the last year because the instances of looney tunes continues…
Friday evening I caught up with my ‘friend’ he invited me over for the weekend I think I mentioned it in my previous post and it all started well. Although a bit crazy, his idea of having fun was a dive bar with women wearing skimpy and at times next to no outfits and very drunk men shoving money into their G-strings and then either falling over or punching each other! I should’ve known the weekend wasn’t going to go well after that, but I am open minded even if I was slightly overdressed for the evening both in class and clothing!
Then home to his house in the hills for an evening of Country music and watching him dance around the lounge room half naked with cowboy boots and hat! OHH my freaking god…!
Aside from the fact that watching an italian dressed that way and his love of country music (I have known him for a little while and by no means did I have a clue he was that way inclined…I’m afraid I have a distinct DISLIKE for country crooning although the odd stuff is OK)..but I went with it good sport that I am..
Oh and he took me outside and uncovered his prized possession a beautifully restored and polished Monaro..the Aussie equivalent of one of those American classics I so love and wanted to do the horizontal mambo in the back seat….OK, I’m game…DON’T Judge, I’m all for the horizontal mambo when it feels right!:)
Thank goodness for copious amounts of al-cy-hol ending in American honey on the rocks in large quantities…
After a very late night or early morning he told me he had to do some work that morning..a rare Saturday and he wanted me to be his truck wench (yes I have sunk another level)! Drives a huge Volvo truck that carts Asphalt and then has to deliver and dump it over a very long period of time and waiting around…OHHH JOY…my head throbbing and more country music blaring in the cabin…arrgghh
But I went with that too and by lunchtime we were back home and gathering stuff for the evening, food and drinks. More drinking (it is a sad thing in a way but Aussies do use alcohol as a drug of choice regularly, its as part of the landscape as the Sydney Harbour bridge unfortunately…perhaps it is just a way of making things better temporarily), and a barbecue later that afternoon which initially was nice. Some friends came over, all good, until he started to take pot shots at his mate. And eventually over time at me and believe me after all the bullshit and wank I have gone through with men of late like Yanky Joe and crazy Chevvy guy there was no way on gods great earth I was putting up with that shit.
Being stuck up there in hills late my only course of action was to go to bed, so I did. I think he got it then. Then first thing in the morning I told him to take me to the station (which was a fair way away) and then I went home. After his sheepish demeanor and profuse apologies, trying to salvage our friends with benefits connection, as I got out of the car at the station he tried to kiss me; but I said thanks and look after yourself Joe (yes another bloody crazy Italian Joe) and I know he knew I was wishing him a good life!
Oh and yesterday I get a call that my mother has gone and discharged herself from the hospital against the doctors wishes and that was the last straw for me too because the whole reason she was back there was because she would not do what they told her too. I have helped her with absolutely everything constantly over many many weeks now and tried to get her to do the right thing and ‘listen’ but to no avail so I am now wiping my hands of that too…she is a grown woman, I can’t wipe her backside for her, not that she was ever much of a mother anyway, manipulative, selfish and expecting everyone to help and the only time she is ever nice to me is when she wants something. Finito.
If there is one thing I am learning from these looney tune events is that if people don’t want to help themselves or know how to behave you can not be responsible for them you have to let them learn the hard way. You can only do so much and just look after yourself and after everything I am now doing that….me first.
Ahhh then yet again a minute ago I get a call from a social worker from the hospital and she is meant to go to an appointment today and instead she has gone to the casino…even in her state…FINITO for good, you can not help someone who does not want to help themselves, bar having them committed!
I have meetings this afternoon and tomorrow about work, fingers crossed, and I am going to the gym after having a week off it. I need to keep my mind in good shape or I will end up in the asylum…
Many will think I am mad for continuing to date when there is so much else going on but it takes my mind off things for a little while and that helps. I will be so much happier when I am back at work. I can’t change certain things like my sons illness, my mothers dumbness and the male arses in this world but I can keep going, trying to move forward and stay smiling when I can….maybe the moon will start to wane finally…