So it’s happened again. I seem to pick them. Total tossers, or men who need their mother to wetnurse them. One minute I give them the benefit of the doubt and then they just shit all over it. Dude, he really wanted a thing with me but he just could not communicate properly…he would make a statement and then expect an answer…and if it wasn’t the answer that best suited him he would just say :oh, its me I’m not right hey? After a number of days dating… he seemed quite keen…. more than me I’d say which was kind of freaking me out slightly…but I said, Roz, just go with it, go with the flow. I did NO chasing. He seemed ‘normal’, nice, gentlemanly even. Then WHAM.
It just seemed that he wanted a conversation but he didn’t want an honest one. And by god, after everything lately….I can only give honest. I can not change for anyone. That, is not authentic.
Even today, after job interview which was quite tiring for me because the man interviewing me seemed ill at ease and frantic to me in some way. I sat thinking; “men are telling us women we are emotional and difficult to deal with” and yet, I am finding them even more so at times!
Am I doomed to being alone in this life? Quite frankly, now, at this point I really don’t give a flying Feck.
I, myself, find that immensely sad in one way…but is it the general way these days?
I espoused the man shed theory… is it real? Or is it creative avoidance?
This man, who had up to a point behaved as an absolute gentleman, was starting to show his colours even only a few days ago. We spent the weekend together as well, and he invited a friend around and said this is my girlfriend! Believe me my eyebrows nearly shot off my face!!. We have seen each other nearly every second day and he would call or message consistently.
But, not only does he drink like a fish, nearly every day but he calls it “partying”! It’s our time to party, we’ve brought up our kids…so lets drink ourselves stupid….
I’m sorry, but aside from growing out of it recently, yes, Joe the schmoe helped me with that but, why is it one or the other.. I meet a saint or a sinner?
The upshot is, I have finally sat there, listening to the wank and bullshit and said to myself; “this is NOT what I want, not what I deserve”, so I’m letting this one go too because, sadly, it is he, not I who has issues to deal with that sadly I can not help him with.
God knows I have enough shit on my plate.
And after everything, I really do deserve better….Love and whitelight x