I started to write this 2 days ago; It was a lovely day yesterday. The weather was beautiful and we went to an old historic hotel/Inn not far from where I live in a national park. He came to pick me up in a hulking great Chevvy which kind of suited him he is a big man 6’2 ft tall! It put the biggest smile on my face (I love cars but I really love American classics especially Caddy’s, Chevs, Mustangs, Camaro’s, Trans Am’s, Corvettes). They drive like Sherman tanks but god you feel safe in them and the sound of the engine and the power…love it.
It was beautiful sitting amongst the trees after a lovely lunch. The conversation flowed. He’s lovely and good company. We were going to catch up again today (he runs his own business so can take time off when he wants to) but I needed a day off to do things, look for work, go to the gym…I really need to go to the gym regularly to keep my mind in the right place. We are having a day together again tomorrow (now today). We will see….I am still going with the flow, oh thank you healing.
Anyway, the man-shed theory!
Prior to meeting my man friend the other day I was just writing my journal, listening the the great music they had on and observing the goings on in the bar. It was quite full of men! There was only a few women there and this was not some ‘dingy’ bar. But I guess being afternoon on a weekday most would be at work or other.
As I had said previously I had just been to an appointment, had my healing session and then bought myself a nice lunch and decided to just go on with it for the rest of the afternoon. Quite content to just be.
I moved from the Chesterfield I was sitting on to a table near the window so I could write in my Journal. After a while and another glass or two feeling quite relaxed and happy I realised as I looked around the room that the men were either just seated on their own, a couple were in couples, and the rest were just 2 sitting and having a drink and a chat. It came to me that these days rarely the man has a ‘man-shed’. In the old days houses always had a reasonable sized shed in the backyard where the man would retreat to get his ‘time out’ away from his wife often friends would go to when they visited and they would pow wow there and tinker; with the lawnmower, building something out of wood, fixing or pretending to fix something, but it was their territory and their time out.
Often these days and with housing the way it is, regularly now built without a shed but if there is it is usually so minute you can’t sit in it or create a space.
I thought to myself ‘is this the equivalent of the man shed?’. There they sat, peacefully chatting, rarely as animated as we women get and I kind of felt for them. Believe me that was a bit of a quantum leap after what I have just been through and how it had tainted my feelings slightly about the male species! My eyes were finally opening up again.
Recently I had been using a dating website and only a few days back I decided to put my membership on hold because as I had said previously it seemed to be a free for all and I wasn’t sure I had the energy for the wank and bullshit!
Yet sitting there that day, it came to me that although we single women complain there is a man drought or a lack of decent men to date some of these men can be found in the man shed equivalent.. they have just removed themselves from the dating scene because to quote a man I was talking to that day “it is all just too hard!”.
From the horses mouth. And then at one stage I had been chatting with a girl behind the bar and she and I had a laugh about it and she told me she thought there was definitely something in my theory. She told me about the ‘regulars’ and had some other great tales.
I think women are so tied up in “I am woman hear me roar” and all this self sufficiency and self love and confusing strength for aggression that men (who, lets face it ladies, really are a simpler, less complicated bunch than us!!) simply just give up on the process. At least they have the brotherhood! And I guess there is the also alot of male aggression and manipulation out there and it really kills how we see the other half as well, kind of spoils it for the good men out there that are genuine and relatively normal!! And they are out there, really!
My man friend and I met that day. He was about to go outside when we looked at each other at the same time and smiled. He said something, then I did and then he came and joined me at the table and we talked and laughed for hours well into the evening where after he insisted on taking me home in a taxi (believe me that is huge because I live a fair way away ) and then literally dropped me off with a sweet goodbye kiss and then went straight back home in the taxi which isn’t far from the venue we were at earlier!
It was lovely, and it was an organic meeting. None of this ‘swipe left swipe right’ bulldust. It was the old way. And it renewed my faith both in the males and that you can meet nice people the organic way even these days.
Now I don’t know what is going to happen from here, as I said, today we are going out again. He is taking the day off. Something Joe would not do for me even though I had flown half way around the globe at his request to see him after so many years and what I thought was a deep connection. But enough of that, that is well and truly over now. I guess even though the healing helped to cut the chains it will be a little while before it completely leaves my memory. I am now happy to just take things one day at a time. It’s all we can do.
Happier times ahead, love and whitelight x