The work continues….patience grasshopper!

I have had a 2 day break from blogging. It was becoming a beast of its own in some ways. But after an over time (50 minutes paid and we talked for 1 hour 15 mins!! ) visit to my psych yesterday she pointed out that Yes, it is a form of grief you experience when you lose someone you love not just through death but also relationship breakups of certain circumstances.

I truly believed grief was reserved for death and serious illnesses and the like like the grief I felt thinking for years I was going to lose my son at any minute. And secondly, impatient person that I am, I expected to just forget him after a month and it just doesn’t work that way she said. I need to work on acceptance. Acceptance on many things but first that it is grief and it will take time, whatever time it takes. Dammit.

Until my session yesterday I had fooled myself into thinking I was becoming iron woman and making great strides with all the positive thinking and psyching myself but the session although exceptionally helpful left me feeling drained and realistic and today I am feeling…..well…I need to take my time and work on things with patience and acceptance.

As I walked down the street after my appointment it was a grey cold day, I had my headphones on and the first song that came on was Coldplay’s “Fix you”! Of the 4000 plus songs on my ipod! You see, messages everywhere, all the time 🙂

I have to post the words because not only is Chris Martin and the band extraordinary both musically and lyrically but walking down the road after my draining and sad appointment in the grey and cold it was like an amazing hand reaching out, saying YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND THIS ALL WILL GET BETTER. It was a strange feeling. That’s why I love music.

LYRICS – FIX YOU>>>COLDPLAY:

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I…

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I…

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

This is the song on you tube in case you haven’t heard it; https://youtu.be/k4V3Mo61fJM
There will be life beyond him…:)
More later, love and whietlight x
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