This morning I woke and the day seemed sunnier somehow. Totally unexpected when I thought I was sinking into the black abyss again which I have experienced a number of times before. I slept better last night and for a good length of time unbroken….does this mean that even though there still are challenges to face my mind and body are in a much better position to do so than ever before and if so is that because this time things I am doing like being open and discussing, inclusion meaning including my friends this time in the process, lack of medication fogging my brain further etc has somehow taken some of the power from the pain and sadness? Is the other person in this war of the brain the more positive stronger Roz is winning the fight against the negative one because I am determined she will? Dear god please let that be so…
There are many forms of depression and many reasons that people suffer from it and although there is much out there about it only by going through it can you really understand it in any way. Some forms can not be helped except with help of medication, I stress that because I never want to give the wrong impression to anyone. My journey is my journey alone. But I really feel that if I was medicated still I would not be able to be thinking and moving through things the way that I currently am.
I have said this before but this time is different in so many ways. And I know that if I was truly in the black of depression I would not be feeling this way so I am going to find whatever it is that is helping and do more of it, prolifically!!
A funny thing happened this morning as I read my emails, I received a response from Itunes whom I download copious amounts of music from and yes I have no problem paying for because as I have said before the Artists who shed blood sweat and tears to create these wonderful pieces of art are very deserving of receiving payment for it. For them it is also a job, time spent providing a product and you would not, not pay for the pair of shoes that you put on your feet would you?
I had a problem with a downloaded tune, and I must say that is a very rare occurrence considering the number I have downloaded and they are always quick to respond and very helpful!!
So a part of the response was as the cut and paste below:
Thank you for contacting iTunes Store Support. My name is Joe your iTunes Store Advisor.
I understand that the song “Driven to Tears (The Police)” is not playing properly. I know how eager you are to listen to songs you paid for. I want to make sure that this gets resolved so I’d be glad to work with you on this.”
Now, blow me down, as I have said before there are many things that have been shown and had placed before me by the powers above out there lately. Over this time the amount of Joe’s that keep coming up is staggering. It could be that it is one of the most common names in the world! But this morning I woke, he was there for a while in my head but I realised he no longer had that same power to hurt me, just like that.
Usually, if that name had popped up I would then spend a decent amount of time thinking again about how hurt and sad I was and back down memory lane I would go perpetuating this madness. The last part of the line that I highlighted ‘be glad to work with you on this’ were almost verbatim what Joe had said to me when we first reconnected and he wanted to help me (from a distance) get better as I was coming off the meds etc, strange coincidence.
Instead of spiraling, this time as I read this and I had a little laugh to myself and said ‘that’d be right!!’ but I am fine with it!
His power over me has almost gone! YIPPEE!
It’s going to be a good day today, I know there is no magic bullet but…..IT IS…..Love and white light xxxx