The cost of crazy….wasn’t Australia the lucky country?…Bah humbug…

So I made my first appointment with a new Psychologist as advised by my Doctor yesterday which I knew was going to cost me alot of money I pretty much don’t have right now. $180 Australian dollars for just under an hour (that’s actually cheaper than my other psychs at nearly half price!!:(..), with less than half of that claimable back through our Medicare system (only for a small number of appointments) which our Government is currently in the process of clawing back as much as it can from in order to cover their arses as the Country sinks into the mire of an almost recession. Yes, when the shit hits the fan Governments go for the sick, the poor and essential services first cause we’re easier targets than the rich.

But, what price can you put on your sanity and if something is going to help in your ability to go forward with your life. These things should be a priority, if you are well in the head you can be a productive member of society and surely that helps the bottom line?

As I said, I can do some of it but I can not do it alone!

I am feeling a bit better today and hopefully it will remain so, so I have been reading and researching again..ultimately I will work for myself when better and as I have always wanted. Doing what I want to do not what I am told I have to ‘authentic’.

Then I make the appointment and the costs are advised and all of a sudden I get that sinking feeling in my gut because the other part of my worries right now is the ability to afford to live let alone afford my growing medical bills. Then I kick myself that I wasted the money I did going to see Joe….no Rozy…you must not think that way…it is done and you did get the answers you were looking for even if they weren’t good nor what you were expecting….

Then I get angry and I want to walk up to our current Prime Minister and give him a serving including a punch in the nose because his priorities and what is happening in this so called “lucky country” is breathtaking in its incompetency and the spread of poverty and difficulty here is incredibly sad and frightening. We have no middle class anymore..there are the have’s apparently we have 49 billionaires now and the have nots, and never the twain shall meet.

I am lucky at present I have a very cheap place to stay even if it is one room (yes in a house…long story) but Rental and housing affordability here is now at its worst and the cost of living keeps spiraling out of control, I have no idea where I will end up if things don’t change and I get strong enough to lift myself out of it. I never thought at my age and stage of life I could be on the precipice of calling a space under a bridge my home and I am not joking, many are sleeping that way with no help at hand it is what you don’t see and can not imagine of this ‘lucky country’ it is currently well hidden. And it is the first time I have admitted this and this adds to the other shit I am dealing with. Welfare, not that I receive it and I will do my darnedest to stay away from it but welfare does not cover food and rent…nowhere near it because things are just so damned expensive in this country now.

We are nowhere near other countries I know and I am grateful for that, but we are hurting just the same. It takes alot to down the Australian spirit, a hell of alot, but I know there is an undercurrent of negativity and hopelessness that I have never seen before here. I wish I could help, but one things at a time. I do care, I care very deeply about everything, hence the psych appointment!

A certain person who shall remain nameless said to me recently as part of the marvelous montage of compliments (NOT) he gave me, but it was one of the nicer ones and in part quite true “Geez man you think too much” (in Yankee drawl). Well yes, I do, but it’s better than not thinking at all you stupid bastard and bahhhh humbug…ooops, there’s anger again…..Valium please!;)

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