Diary of a tortured mind!
I have just spent the last 2 or 3 hours sitting with friends of my mum, as I started to partake in a nice glass of wine or two because quite frankly I have no intention of spending a lonely Friday night burrowed in sorrow…again. I had stopped drinking altogether for almost 9 months whilst Joe was my main focus…his positive legacy; I exercised like a woman possessed, got healthy, ate healthy, lost 15 kilos, stopped drinking even socially (because he didn’t like it), went back to work, renewed my focus, my mind became very strong again….I love him for that still (right now I am anesthetized and funnily, I both forgive him for the hurt and can only think of the good times….funny I seem more rational blitzed!)
One of my mum’s friends, younger at the same age as Joe..59….a lovely Thai woman has just months ago lost her husband to the insidious form of cancer linked with asbestos. He was a bit older than her and worked in an area which is now well associated with many other people who have had to suffer through the destruction of asbestosis here in Australia and I am sure we are not unique.
You see, heartache and destruction is everywhere, in every nook and cranny of this great earth and its predominantly linked to avarice and greed…..every time I say those words I think of the song ‘Ship of fools’ by World Party…what a great song.
I used to sing with a band years ago and am so music crazy I think in song…..:)
…since I plan on anesthetizing tonight and listening to music as I do I just might find it on Itunes and buy it. Yes, I pay for music. I believe that when artists work hard to produce from blood sweat and tears they deserve a royalty…but I am old school. SO many of this generation have no qualms taking whatever they want to for free….technology allows for it. It has become such a rampant beast there is no way to police or control it…
It is both good and bad. I am grateful for what we can do with it yet I am sad for the way the landscape has and continues to change and the effect it will have on our world and its people over time….essentially, we cannot move without it. I for one have to admit at times I could not go to the toilet with out taking my smartphone in case the message I was ……hang on gotta sing to this bloody song;
SAVE ME, SAVE ME FROM TOMORROW…I DON’T WANT TO SAIL WITH THIS SHIP OF FOOLS….